As yet another year ends, I figured I'd take a look back on 2022 and share my thoughts.
Firstly, the New Year's Eve going in 2022 was very well celebrated in my family. While we didn't make a HUGE issue out of it, our close family members coming together was nice! I was especially happy and excited for this year as I knew that the conciquences of the last two years would wear off in this one, and I was rightfully.... right! Along with the celebration, this year's megacollab was released, getting frontpaged and mentioned by Tom Fulp himself, so a pretty big success in my opinion!!!
With that introduction, the year had officially begun. This year's winter was a lot better than both the 2020's or 2021's, as I had a lot more fun with friends and nothing bad happened! I'll say though, that it was the season in which there was a strong argument for a short period of time among my parents, a reoccuring thing this year...
Spring had a really rocky start, with my sister and mother afterwards coming down with Covid, and it caused more troubles at home than I'd want to admit to... After March, the season became really good too, ending with my 3-day school trip on May, an experience I'll never forget, and without a doubt one of the highlights of Junior High (something really great, as it was my final year, leaving on a high note, and with established friendships). In April also I broke my radio silence by releasing Dreamscape, a song I still absolutely adore!
Summer... was fucking terrible!...
I really really don't want to be that pessimist guy, but it had to be one of my worst times ever. Definitely my worst summer ever.
So... basically, for some reason, I lost every close connection I had with people, making me a lot sadder, self-centered and awkward on social duties. I don't know why, maybe it was the fact that I subconciously decided to stop talking to old classmates and friends since I knew that this school year I'd be in a different school than most, and I stopped caring.
The fact that my close friends were away for vacation most of Summer was also a big reason on why I fucking failed on everything those 3 months. First half of July was definitely the worst. After that though I realized I was in misery for no apparent reason and I started having fun again. It was that time I started working on the album, which made me feel like I was worth once again! And as everything seemed great...
On August 16, around 6:00 pm, my grandfather passed away. I still feel that shock and despair I felt on that call, I can remember it so clearly. For context my grandfather had Alzhaimer's, so we lived with and took care of him for the past 10 years, ever since we moved in to his home 'cause of our financial issues back in 2012. This person meant a lot to my family, and his absence has left a huge impact on us, and especially my mother, who was the one who mostly took care of him. Rest in peace, 'pa :')
I don't want to get into much more detail into the sadness that followed, but in that meantime I started smoking... I also composed Breaking Point back then, something really hard for me actually, since I wasn't used to sharing such emotions on my pieces, hence why it's so short. High School also started, and it was really really hard adjusting into it actually, and my connections with my classmates had a very rocky start.
I was filled with sadness and anger, and those deadly quiet thoughts were popping into my head and they were eating me alive! (hence the track Quiet Thoughts)... I felt like I could finally die, something really worrying in my opinion, since while I've been really sad before, but at least I was scared of death enough to keep me going, but this time it was like a dead end.
I don't know why or how, but I pulled it off, and I managed to get myself to try to fix my broken ass and get to work. I managed to quit smoking (something I was in the edge to but not full-on addicted yet) and start going to the gym, something that really helped me and boosted my confidence!
Now I'm really happy once again, as I was last winter, and I am still really excited for the future. The album's release and the nice feedback is really heartwarming!!!
All and all, this year has been a bunch of happy times, springled in some sad moments and internal struggles, but every great meal should have it's bitterness, right?! This year has been my best since 2019, and while I went through shit at times, I am feelin' great now, and I'll do my best to keep it like that!
Once again, thank you for everything!!
...and have a great 2023! (it's too early, isn't it xD)